Home is where ….

The second half of 2015 had a lot going on, but the biggest, messiest, most awesome, and most disruptive event was our family’s move to a new house.   The move went something like this:

• Spring – Eric and I began having conversations about how our (then) current house probably isn’t a long-term place.   “Maybe we should call our realtor and just put feelers out”, we thought.
• June – We tentative entered the real estate market.  The market in Fort Collins was (and still is) hot, hot, hot, so many times we would go see places that were way over-priced and already sold before we even got a chance to see them. 
• Mid-July  - One Friday, our realtor called and said “I think you should go look at this place”.  I had worked a crazy double-orientation day and was not at all interested in speeding over to look at another disappointing place after work.  But, I took 3 seconds to view the property online, and something about it made me say “we should go”.  We went to look, and it was just what we were looking for.  The size, layout, and finishes we just what we wanted.  Nothing about it needed fixing or replacing, and we didn’t have to sacrifice anything on our “needs” list.  We made a competitive but reasonable offer and didn’t get our hopes up.  Houses were selling for way over asking price all summer.  And then…. they picked us!
• August – Trying to coordinate a move with a 4 and almost-2 year-old was interesting.   We got very little done and were pretty anxious about how it was all going to work.  My saintly parents made 3 trips in 6 weeks to assist with moving, kid care, and painting/maintenance on the old place.  They deserve a medal for their hard work and support.

So, as of August 30, we’ve been in our new house:  3202 Reedgrass Ct.  It’s nestled along the foothills on the very west edge of Fort Collins.  We are two blocks from a trail that runs right up the foothills.  It’s so awesome!  The only down side is that we now are about 1.5 miles farther away from Old Town and CSU (where Eric and I work).  But, every house has its trade-offs, and we felt we could handle the farther distance with the appeal of being so much closer to the mountains.  We now have a full basement with a guest suite – perfect for visitors!!! (hint, hint, hint).

So moving has been the theme of the fall.  The moving and unpacking of stuff has been hard work for sure (we still don’t have all boxes unpacked, curtains on windows, or many pictures on the walls), but it’s the emotional work of moving into our new house and in other areas of life that have taken us longer to adjust to.  

For example, Harper “moved” into pre-kindergarten this fall.  She has been at a small in-home daycare with 5 other kids since she was 3 months old.  To move to a class with 20 kids was overwhelming and exhausting for her.  It happened the week we moved, so pretty much her whole world turned upside down within one week.  It was so rough.  She cried how her house didn’t feel like ‘her home” and how her room didn’t feel like “her room”.  On top of that, she missed her old friends and Donna (daycare provider), and she had to adjust to a totally new routine and environment.  Eric and I both felt like we deserved a “worst parenting decision of the year” award after making her go through those 2 huge transitions in the same week.   It took her 2 full months of tears every single morning at drop off and exhausted temper-tantrums in the evenings to fully adjust.  Now, she is thriving.  She babbles happily about her friends, she plays “school” all the time teaching Rory, Eric and I new songs, activities, and “rules”.  We are very proud of how strong and brave she was to get through that time, as it was not easy.  Hopefully the transition to kindergarten next year will be easier.    

The Harper –to-school transition also impacted Rory to a degree.  He’s always been with Harper.  Her move was a “move” for him as well.  They’ve really never spent much time apart.  He would get sad some mornings when Harper would go to school.  “I go to school too?” he would ask hopefully.  Luckily, he was easily distracted and happy to arrive at daycare to see his familiar faces.  He also suffered through many Harper tantrums.  He felt confused and uncertain watching them, as Harper was never as mean to him or as defiant to us as she was during her transition to pre-school. 

For Eric, the move meant taking on a second job – that of being a landlord.  The new role requires another level of “moving on” in the sense that you still own the place and are responsible for it.  But, you have to let go at some level.  Finding the right balance of oversight versus freedom and flexibility will be a challenge we both have to adjust to as we see if this is the right choice for our family.

For me, the move has been emotional too.  Despite the excitement of moving to a new house, I was plagued by feelings of sadness and grief from time to time.  We were leaving our “first house”; the old house was where I brought both of my babies home from the hospital.  It’s where I spent hours and hours on maternity leave rocking, nursing, and dozing with my little ones.  It’s where all of us experienced oh-so-many firsts. 

And yet, we are so blessed!!! We have a lot of painting, updating, and finishing to do. But it has so much potential.  Our new house definitely feels like the “right” house to raise our family in.  And again, we have ample space for guests!

As we approach the end of 2015, I am reminded how much we all are “works in progress.”  Our lives have long lists of “to-dos”, like fresh coats of paint, new fixtures, or some updated decorations.  But really, if we let go of our expectations of what we should be like and what our lives should look like, we really do have so much to be grateful for.  Sometimes the edges are messy and we may have to fight back tears or have tantrums.  Isn’t that how growth occurs?   And in the end, we hopefully find our home; our center, and our place of comfort with those we love most. 

May you be “home” for the holidays finding peace and joy wherever you are and with whomever you’re surrounded.

Sending love and blessings……

Haley, Eric, Harper (4) and Rory (2)

3202 Reedgrass Ct.     

Fort Collins, CO  80521