Yes, No, Maybe, I Don't Know, Whatever, OK

Yes, No, Maybe, I don’t know, Whatever, Ok.

Summer 2013 Blog update

 

Ahhhh, summer.  My idealist side always fantasizes about days filled with drinking limeades, playing outside in the many fun spaces our community offers, bike-rides for ice cream, and back-yard BBQs.  Of course, we do all of those things in the summer, but not always as often as we want to.  That always leaves us feeling like we have to frantically pack lots of summer fun into the month of August, before the weather starts to change into a more “fall” feel.

And, summer at our house also brings Harper’s birthday!  She turned 2 on July 19.  We’ve been acting like a 2-year-old for a few months now, as we have entered the “I want to do it myself” stage.  Eric and I are learning to be very creative with our motivating strategies.  And, we are also learning to be very patient, which is easier some days than others. 

As any of you who have small children or can remember from raising small children, the mind of a 2-year-old is a very complex thing.  In the course of a single 30-second time span, the simple question of “are you ready to eat dinner?” can generate responses of

·         “Yes!” jumping and clapping

·         “Nooooooooo” with a very furrowed brown and pouty lip

·         “Maybe” (“later” often added to this remark) typically while not looking up from whatever is occupying her attention at the time

·         “I don’t know” when she’s taking a blankie break and cuddling on the floor or couch

·         “Whatever”.  Harper doesn’t say “whatever” exactly, but if she is feeling cooperative but distracted, I would say she is thinking “whatevs….”

·         “Ok Daddy” or “Ok Mommy”.

Because Harper’s thoughts and opinions change on a whim, we sum it up into “yesnomaybeIdon’ tknowwhateverok”

The mind of a two year old is complex indeed.  But, essentially, don’t we all feel that way sometime?  I feel like that phrase is very applicable for our life at this transitional stage as well.

YES:

We’ve experienced a big transition together as a family this summer, as Eric recently switched jobs.  Eric really enjoyed the work at his former company, thus the decision making was hard.  But, the “YES” has been a very positive move for our family.  He accepted a job at a small, local, Fort Collins engineering firm.  He is one of 3 engineers in the office.  And, it is in Old Town Fort Collins.    With baby Rocket on the way this fall, we both agreed that this seemed like a wonderful time to make the move and eliminate the 25-30 minute one-way daily commute.  He’s been working in town now for a little over a month, and while he has been working a lot trying to get himself established in his new role, we love the fact that he can bike to work a few times a week, flex his schedule to accommodate Harper-care when needed, and just be home earlier for dinner in the evenings.  Big Yes!

P.S.  Eric also passed his HUGE engineering licensing exam (2 8-hour tests – yuck!) this year, which is a great accomplishment.  Be sure to congratulate him next time you speak with him. 

Other big “Yes” moments in the past few months:

·         Blowing out birthday candles on her birthday (she was sooooo into it)

·         Bonding with cousins Gavin and Norah on family vacation – the three played so well together, it was remarkable

·         Enjoying a family music class together – so fun!

·         Spending more time outdoors – most of the time barefoot- in the yard, at the park, exploring kid-friendly places in town (kite festival, outdoor concerts, ice cream shops, backyard sandbox and garden, BBQs and more)

NO:

“Harper, do you want to wear the orange shirt or purple shirt today?”  “No.” 

“Harper, do you want to wear sparkle shoes or sandals today?”  “No.”

I tell my students all the time when I am working with them on major/career exploration, that sometimes the process of elimination is easier than the choice of selection.   I find it is almost always easier to say what I don’t want to eat at a restaurant, than select between the 2-3 options I’ve narrowed it down to. 

In a complicated world of options and difficult questions, we appreciate the fact that one “answer” remains constant for us:

Do we want to find out the sex of baby Rocket?         NO!

Sorry, you all will just have to wait too.  We win with either a girl or boy, and we can’t wait to share the news when we know it ourselves.

MAYBE:

In addition the formality of Harper turning 2, we’ve felt like this summer is a big developmental milestone for her.  She’s maturing so quickly and is becoming much more of a little girl than a baby.   She’s always been a very good communicator, but we are astounded at the words, sentences, phrases, songs, etc. that come out of her mouth on a daily basis.   Her rapid changes and maturation have left Eric and I scratching our heads with questions like:  “should we start potty training?”   maybe…….  “should we transition to a toddler bed?”    maybe…..   “should we allow her to ‘help’ make scrambled eggs despite the massive mess?”    maybe (although the answer is yes)…..  So many changes and questions for all of us. 

I DON’T KNOW:

September 30, baby Rocket’s official due date, is approaching quickly.   As baby Rocket and I continue to blossom, we are asked more and more questions about our readiness to add a newborn to our family.  Of course we are excited; we wouldn’t have embarked on this adventure if we didn’t want to expand our family.  But “ready” is such a loaded word.  How will we know what “ready” feels like?  Are we ready to sleep less?   Get another human up and ready and out the door to go places?  Are our hearts prepared to love baby Rocket as much as we love Harper?  Are we ready to feel the overwhelming vulnerability and responsibility of adding another person to the planet?

The truth is, if we are honest with ourselves, the answer to all the questions is “we don’t know”.  We don’t know who baby Rocket will be; what her/his needs will be like; how we all will adjust to each other.    All we know at this point is that we’re on this rocket ship, blasting off into the universe of a 2-child family, and we have great faith that it all will work out.

WHATEVER:

Projects at our house take a long time.  They always have, they always will, and they especially do now.  Eric and I both would much rather spend our time playing than doing projects around the house, which makes it hard to get anything done.   We have a whole list of “to-dos” to accomplish before baby Rocket arrives.   We even gave ourselves deadlines at the beginning of the summer to try to kick-start the process.  And, of course, we are falling behind.

Oh, well.

Would it be nice to have closets cleaned out, the guest/new baby room totally decorated in a cute way, and have frozen meals stocked in the freezer, “ready” for the baby to come?  Ummmmm.  Yea!

Will it happen?  Ummmmm, No.

We need to get the infant car seat and a few newborn items out of the attic.  Those are musts.  We’ll see what happens with the rest.  Our “fun” times with Harper on the weekends are just too precious to trade in for “tasks”

OK:

Just like all the “flip-flopping” Harper does with her daily choices, we know that in the end, we will all be ok, despite all of the uncertainty we face as a family in the coming months.

Will life feel harried, busy, scattered, chaotic, crazy and at times out-of-control?  Of course….

Will we also feel expanded joy, love, excitement, satisfaction and contentment?   I am certain.

All of those feelings, situations, and challenges are what make life the grand adventure it is. 

We will all be ok.......We are certain because we have such a wonderful, loving network of family and friends.

Sending our love,

 

Haley, Eric and Harper