Every Rose has its Thorn
As I sit down to summarize 2020, I’m struck with a couple of
writer’s dilemmas. How honest should I
be? How positive should I be? Should I go for documentary style or Rom-Com Hallmark
movie style?
The answer? Both. It feels fitting for 2020 to choose the
paradoxical option. So, here goes…..
2020 started off optimistic.
Eric and I just turned 40 at the end of December 2019, so we were
embarking on a new age decade that matched the new decade of the 20s. We had a celebratory family vacation planned to
Mexico in February and lots of other big moments to look forward to in the new
year.
We had a wonderful vacay to Akumal, Mexico, albeit our traveling
party was smaller than we had originally planned. Harper was thriving in 3rd grade,
and Rory was killing it in kindergarten.
Eric and I were working, juggling all the things, and keeping ourselves
as balanced as can be expected for a busy family of four.
The, March hit. And, well……
you know.
We endured the hardships almost all the rest of you have endured.
·
There was the shortage of toilet paper, hand
sanitizer stock-ups, and making sure we had masks with us as all times.
·
There was the struggle through remote
learning, working from home, and stay-at-home orders.
·
There was the weekly highlight of take-out dinner,
just to break up the cooking.
·
There was racial injustice and a divisive
election.
·
There was the learning of Zoom, Messenger,
Facetime, etc. and how to connect meaningfully in socially-distant ways.
On top of all this, a wildfire – the largest in Colorado history –
ravaged the mountains directly west of our home. We had days where the sky was so dark at noon
you would have guessed it was 8pm. We
had air-quality alerts of purple (beyond red).
It felt dystopic.
This was almost too much to bear.
Throughout the pandemic, the only place we felt “normal” was in the
great outdoors. From August through
October we were stripped of our playground, our solace, our sanctuary. Evacuated.
Burned.
2020 was paradoxical too, as I found myself stuck in cycles of
contradictory thinking:
·
I can feel completely overwhelmed and
underwhelmed in the same moment.
·
I can feel grateful and bitter about the same
things.
·
I can feel liberated and homesick when I think
about not traveling for holidays.
·
I can feel resentful and proud of my work.
·
I can feel worried about and comforted by my
kids.
·
I can feel annoyed and completely love.
·
I can feel like time is racing by and standing
still at the same time.
·
I can feel frantic and unmotivated
simultaneously.
As I look at all of this, 2020 definitely did feel like the
Dumpster Fire the popular GIFs and memes allude to. But, in the words of the 1980s hair band,
Poison, “Every Rose has its Thorn”, 2020
feels like a patch of goat-heads popping bicycle tires. Or a huge brambly, overgrown bush.
And yet, we have grown some beautiful roses.
·
2020 has cultivated a strong sense of
community amongst the families in our neighborhood. When we moved her 5 years ago, Eric and I
hoped that our kids would someday roam the street, knocking on front doors to
play. It took a pandemic to get there
(and maybe just a level of maturity), but the “United Nation of Reedgrass Kids”
has formed (complete with a rotating cycle of presidential office and a flag). Playing outside with neighbors has been one
of the only social outlets Harper and Rory have enjoyed this year. They have built bike jumps and snow
forts. They have played soccer,
basketball, and hide and seek. They
squirt each other with water blasters.
They have lego-building derbies and paper-airplane contests in the
driveways. This group of kids is
tight-knit now. We are so grateful.
·
2020 has allowed us to continue our love of
outdoor adventures. Shopping malls and
movie theatres shutting down didn’t impact us as much as others. Thankfully, we were able to get out for most
months this year (wildfires aside). Some
highlights
o
Biking over 50 miles together on Fort Collins’
bike trails in the month of May and discovering some new natural areas in the
process.
o
Stand-Up Paddle Boarding once a week during
June, July, and early August in Horsetooth Reservoir.
o
3 lovely, blissful camping trips – 2 of which
with excellent company.
o
Snorkeling and beach-combing in Mexico. Harper is such a water girl. She just took off!
·
2020 made family visits all the more
precious. We feel so thankful we were
able to make a few trips back to Kansas in the summer when COVID rates weren’t
as high to see family. The kids got to
participate in their beloved Cousin Camp, which made summer feel “real”.
·
2020 made us lean on our Fort Collins
family. In addition to the “Reedgrass
Kids”, we had to invite others “in” to make life in a pandemic work. Our nanny, our school “pod” family, our
honorary “aunt and uncle”, my running group, and more. All of our important local peeps are showing
up for us in different ways. We only
hope we are adding as much to their lives as we gain from them.
·
2020 has made us flex our creativity,
resilience and gratitude muscles.
o
We’ve performed plays, had cupcake baking challenges,
written and illustrated books, created art, built things, and developed games
and scavenger hunts.
o
We’ve cried, journaled, meditated, hugged,
slept, talked it out, and reached out.
o
We’ve practiced gratitude by lighting a candle
and sharing something we are thankful for every night before dinner.
Whew! There is a lot of
beauty there. Giant, blooming roses.
While we hope 2021 won’t be as thorny as 2020, we know there are
hardships to come. And, hopefully some
of our thorn-like experiences in 2020 transform into roses of some variety in
the future.
Transformation. I love
that. I guess I’m a fan of Rom-Coms
after all 😊. But,
I don’t like super-cheesy rom-coms. I
like stories and characters with depth.
Happy endings are nice, but I’m most interested in seeing growth that
results in some sort of transformation.
So now the writer’s question that remains: How can we transform our own personal 2020s
to become bouquets with beautiful thorns and flowers?
Wishing you a transformational 2021 – documentary or Rom-Com
style.
