Overwhelmed…… or choosing not to be
My book club recently read “Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play when No One has the Time”
by Brigid Shulte. The book made me feel
angry, frustrated, hopeful, inspired, and…..overwhelmed. But, overall, I took some really meaningful
points from it that I want to continue to mull over, reflect on, and
continually be mindful of.
#1: How I feel about
my time and how I spend it is huge.
There will always be more things I want to do in life than
what I have time for. This is because I
am an interesting person (sometimes I have to convince myself of that b/c I don’t
always feel it). I have a million
interests. I want to live a rich,
fulfilling, eventful life. So how do I
keep myself from feeling overwhelmed with what I also have to do? I have to change my perspective. If I resent doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom,
etc., then I am miserable doing it and I dwell on the resentment. If I can try to do all of my chores and tasks
with gratitude, it feels different. This
is asset v. deficit thinking. “I have
enough” rather than “I never have enough”.
#2: I have to
approach my time with intentionality
I sometimes feel bummed by the lack of spontaneity in my
life, and I wonder if I am at all capable of operating without a schedule or a
plan. And yet, I feel more spontaneous
overall having children in my life.
Harper and Rory demand it. I
plan/schedule a lot so that we can maximize our fun and time together (the
important things in life). It means I
don’t really watch tv. But really, will
I ever regret not watching enough tv in life?
#3: Sometimes I have
to multi-task, but I strive to find more presence in the moment
I really want to role model appropriate boundaries with
technology as Rory and Harper grow. Life
does not and should not stop because of a text message. I want to give what’s important my full (not
half-a$$ed) attention.
#4: I refuse to feel
victimized by my time
As Harper and Rory grow and have more demands on their time,
this will be a huge challenge. And, I
believe I can achieve this if I practice self-care, model good time-management
by setting priorities and boundaries, play regularly, act intentionally, and
approach each day and activity with gratitude. Each day is a gift to experience fully. I don't want to simply go through the motions or feel like I never have "enough time" to live.
So, in an effort to be more “in the moment”, I’m not going
to tick off a list of things we’ve done the past few months. Instead I’m going to share a few meaningful,
spontaneous moments I always hope to remember.
·
Blond little Rory waking up from naps looking
like “Doc” in Back to the Future with his remarkable bed-head.
·
“I’m ready for bath, Mom!” I turn around and see a stark-naked Harper
wearing her swimming goggles.
·
The great sense of satisfaction completing a
training run (for a half-marathon I ultimately didn’t get to do b/c of injury)
on a beautiful spring morning with friends.
·
The unrestrained joy of a toddler doing
something for himself or getting something he wants Cracker…”yea!” Pulling the cap off a marker …. Clap, clap,
clap “yay!” Going down the slide by
himself … “wee!”
·
Harper and Rory playing together is such a joy
for me to observe. They spent the better
part of half-an-hour one day inside a cardboard box. We made “Harper and Rory Stew” by adding lots
of ingredients (stuffed animals) and stirring them up with kitchen spoons.
·
Harper riding her strider bike around the
neighborhood in her poufy pink dress-up clothes. And, Harper learning to take "selfies" with our phone cameras.
·
My little “helpers” at Ace Hardware pushing the
kid carts around the store. I’m pretty
sure we were a hindrance to the store, but they definitely won cutest shoppers
of the day.
·
Eric and I getting to go on a couple of dates
together, having kid-free fun, and realizing we love each other just as much as
ever.
As spring turns to summer and your calendar starts to fill up
with vacations, sporting events, family visits, etc., I hope you’ll also
remember to notice the small things and not let the “overwhelm” of life wear
you down.
