The Longest Shortest Time

 

The Longest Shortest Time

I ran across a parenting website recently that is titled The Longest Shortest Time.  The website features articles and podcasts that are released weekly at 3am to give parents something to look forward to when we are awake at that hour.  The articles and podcasts are interesting, but what resonated with me most of all was the title of the website itself and the significance of it in my life.

Summer is a great example of a longest shortest time.  With longer days, I always feel like I should have more time to do the things that define summer for me – hiking, biking to Old Town for ice cream, backyard BBQs, swimming.  Each summer we make a list of fun things we want to do, and while we did a good job of covering most of them this summer (though maybe not as often as we would have liked), the summer still felt like it went by way too quickly.  While our lives are not changed by the start of school yet (preschool is next year), the days get dramatically shorter after Labor Day, and that signals the end of summer’s carefree feeling.

Some of our highlights from summer included:

·         A few family hiking trips – Harper enjoys hiking on the trail now, and she makes many adventures for herself along the way.  When she tires, she rides in her “big-kid-carrier”.

·         Two Daddy-daughter camping trips – This was a hard one for me to swallow, as I love camping hate to be left out of family adventures.  But, with Rory not sleeping super-well in the summer months, we didn’t want to keep the whole family, let alone the whole campground, awake at night.  Besides, it is important for Harper and Eric to have Daddy-daughter adventures.  They had a great time.

·         A trip to the YMCA of the Rockies near Winter Park, CO – We met my sister and her family there for the 4^th of July weekend.  Many adventures were had there and special memories made with cousins.

·         Haley & Rory’s flight to KS – During one of the Daddy-daughter camping trips, Rory and I flew to KS for my grandmother’s 85^th birthday party.  Flying with 9-month-old excessively drooly Rory was a memory I will not soon forget.

·         Lots of backyard BBQs – Dining out with small children isn’t always very enjoyable, but we decided that shouldn’t stop us from being sociable.  We tried to host friends once a week for a potluck meal.  This is a tradition we will plan to continue, as it really made the summer fun.

·         Visitors – We had quite a few (3 or 4) grandparent weekends during the summer.  And, we were the hosts of my high school BFFs reunion.  So fun!

Another way I experience a longest shortest time is when I’m exhausted and trying to get through the moments that are tough.  We were blessed to acquire hand, foot, and mouth disease in mid-July.  Rory had it the worst and had a good 5 or 6 days and nights of discomfort, fever, and pain.  That week felt very long in the moment.  The hours I spent rocking him in a chair at times felt like they would never end.  And yet, we bounced back.  Similarly, Rory struggled with sleep, and we had some rather rough nights from time to time trying to soothe him in the middle of the night.  Those nights were not fun in the moment, and they were definitely not fun the next day.  And yet, those memories are very minor in what I remember of the summer at this point.

And finally, birthdays are when I really reflect on our longest shortest times.  365 days is a full trip around the sun.  It’s an eternity in the mind of a toddler.  And, it passes at a frighteningly fast pace. 

Two-and-a-half months ago, we celebrated Harper’s third birthday.  What is she like as a three-year-old?  She is growing more and more confident in her body – jumping, climbing, racing around, balancing on one foot, making up silly dances and yoga-poses.  She is clever and creative, making up stories and telling tall tales.  She is sensitive and a bit shy.  She makes me proud and makes me smile every day.

 Being the sappy, sentimental person that I am, I have found myself teary-eyed at some point of all of Harper’s birthdays.  Each year around July 19, I am flooded with memories of what I was doing in the days immediately preceding and following her birth as well.  The magnitude of that big transition in our lives is something I still feel quite acutely.  I wonder if that will ever wear off? 

Three weeks ago, we celebrated Rory’s first birthday.   What is he like as a one-year-old?  Rory is crawling around everywhere, and he’s very fast at it.  He pulls up to standing but is not walking much yet.  He is sociable yet independent.  He will play by himself and entertain himself quite readily at times.  Other times, he insists that he be a part of everything Harper is doing (much to her dismay).  He is our cuddle-bear.  We love when he crawls on top of us and snuggles his head against our lap, leg, foot, etc.  He talks enthusiastically in his very own Rory-language.  He makes us laugh every single day. 

 

If I thought time passed quickly during Harper’s first year, it passed at the speed of light for Rory’s first year.  I’m trying hard not to feel regretful or guilty.  But, I cannot help but feel like I’ve missed out on enjoying some of the precious moments of the year.  I wasn’t able to be 100% present for Rory like I was for Harper (second child syndrome – I know he will be A-ok).  I wasn’t able to fully enjoy his infancy.  With each passing day, Rory becomes more and more toddler-like and less and less baby-like.  I find myself stretching the minutes in which I hold him and rock him and sing to him at night because I know the days when he will rest his head on my shoulder while I put him to bed are fleeting. 

There is so much to look forward to in the growth and development of our family.  And, while all of those anticipations excite me, the passing of some of the precious parts grieves me as well.

How blessed I feel for the gifts of every day – the hard and the amazing – in these longest shortest times.